Moving Beyond “Because I Said So”: The Power of Explanation

“Because I said so.” We’ve all said it. We’ve all heard it. But what if there was a better way—one that actually helps children develop reasoning skills and respect for boundaries?

The Problem with “Because I Said So”

While it might get immediate compliance, this phrase misses an opportunity. Children are naturally curious. They want to understand the world around them, including the rules that govern their lives. When we shut down that curiosity, we may win the battle but lose the larger war of raising thoughtful, discerning humans.

A Better Approach: Age-Appropriate Explanation

Clarity doesn’t mean lengthy lectures. It means brief, honest explanations that match your child’s developmental stage:

• Toddlers: “We hold hands in parking lots to stay safe from cars.”
• Preschoolers: “We brush our teeth so they stay healthy and don’t get owies.”
• School-age: “Homework comes before screen time so your brain is fresh for learning.”
• Teens: “The curfew exists because I want you home when I’m still awake to know you’re safe.”

When to Use the Short Answer

There are times when a quick “I need you to listen right now, and I’ll explain later” is appropriate—safety situations, public meltdowns, or when you’re at capacity. The key is following through on that promise to explain when the moment has passed.

Children who understand the “why” behind boundaries are more likely to internalize those values and apply them even when we’re not watching. That’s the real goal, isn’t it?